“It had been five years,” Mr. Long told the detectives, “five long years and more, I’d gone without it, without, totally without, I mean, ur, uh, ah — you know — sex, sex of any kind; and then [on August 7th] I got lucky. It was my wildest dreams come true! Two smokin' hot babes with a room at Motel 6. Which, I meant, I’d met the little hotties at the liquor store, and they said, ‘Like, dude, get some awesome vodka, dude, and like come up to the room’ and I thought it was gonna be a threesome! How awesome is that?”
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